If you look at photographs of my two girls when they were both very, very young it is often difficult to determine which one is which. Same general size, very little hair (and what there was was BLOND), blue eyes and flawless skin. After a few weeks of age, this similarity evaporated and only photographic evidence remains of the time my girls were "the same". Oh sure, they're both on the small side still. They both have flat rear-ends and all the requisite female parts, but other than that they are diametric opposites. Let me briefly introduce my kinder: Paige Elara, 4 years old, whose middle name ("El" from Elizabeth, my mother and "ara" from Sara, my wife's mother) it turns out is shared by the concubine of Zeus. Great start Mommy and Daddy. Taryn Aoibh (pronounced sort of like "Eve" but with a drawn out and softened v sound...it's Gaelic), 22 months old, whose middle name is Irish as it is where the wife and I honeymooned some 6 years before her birth.
Paige was born at just over 7 lbs after 41+ weeks gestation by "non-emergency-but-let's-stop-fucking-around-in-there" C-section, and was needy as could be, seemingly from the womb. She would not stop screaming if she was put down. This was largely dealt with by, well, picking her up. She got the hang of nursing in about 6-seconds flat and it was largely a breeze for my saint of a wife (said in all truth and reverence as her distaste for 3AM pumping and desire to supply all of Paige's nutritional needs allowed me to sleep a bit more than the average new Dad). Paige did not crawl, really, ever. There was a period of about 3 weeks around her 13th month where she did a little, but then decided that she'd just walk instead and hasn't slowed down since. She developed reasonably good sleeping habits at night, at first with the aid of the binky/paci/nubby thingy, and then around her first birthday, we were simply done with that device, so long as she had a sippy cup/bottle of water at her side.
Taryn was born at just under 6 lbs after 39 weeks in the womb (scheduled C-section) and was far less needy initially. Often more content to hang out on the play mat or in the bouncy seat/swing. Not that she didn't have her moments, but a far more "hands off" infant than was her sister. Nursing for her, and my now cannonized wife, was far more challenging. The wife bled, and chapped, and was sore at a level I can not fathom. But she was determined, and after 2-3 months of constant pain and worries about consumption (and lactation consults and extra doctors visits - begun with a worrisome departure from the hospital as Taryn was not urinating properly), things worked out. She decided that Summer 2010 was to be bookended by her major physical milestones - no joke - and started crawling on Memorial Day Weekend and walking on Labor Day Weekend. A little late on both milestones, but what are you going to do? Her sleeping situation was a bit different as she spent longer in Mommy and Daddy's room, owing to the small number of bedrooms in our overpriced and undersized townhouse. We were afraid to disturb Paige who had transitioned to a toddler bed and upset the apple cart. She too developed reasonable night-time habits, with a binky...though she had a different level of attachment to the little chunk of rubber. We tried at 1 year to take it away, and that was a nightmare. Finally, around 18 months, and two-three tough nights, the Binky was banished from the house. Taryn, though we've offered it, does not require a water bottle at night (though Paige still does...).
These are a few ways in which the girls are different. It is, of course, much deeper and myriad than these few spurious remembrances, but I use them to illustrate the building individuality of my daughters. The clearest sign yet (besides the physical dissimilarities - Taryn is Aryan and Paige would be on the next train to Dachau...) is the potty training. Paige learned over a long stretch of attempts (at first she wouldn't even sit on the potty) and tactics. One supremely snowy day (~20" on the ground...which is a TON for DC) around 3 months shy of her 3rd birthday, we were at our good friends' home and we'd put Paige in big girl underwear...she held and held and held. For ~10 hours, through car rides and dinner and sledding. Then, she lost it in their basement (finished and carpeted...all right!). That was it for her. She's been using the potty, with only a minor accident here or there, ever since. This was awesome because we'd just started the kids in a daycare/preschool setting (they'd been in a private home prior...a lamentable fact looking back) and her being potty trained saved us big $ each week in tuition.
Now, you'll recall that Taryn is ~2 months shy of her second birthday. Well, she will sit on the potty and grin so big you think her face is going to freeze. She's already peed on it several times and has dropped the kids off at the pool at least once now too. I'm flabbergasted. Is this for real? Am I nearing the end of pumping cash into Pamper's coffers? Sell your stock now people. T-money is an all-world, championship caliber potty user. Of course, I suppose it helps that the teachers at school are working with her and encouraging her participation in potty time (this never happened for Paige at the "other" place...). But I think more than that, is the mounting evidence that Taryn simply wants to BE her big sister. Anything Paige does, Taryn mimics. Dancing, laughing, looking out the window at the baby birds, having a drink, washing her hands. Taryn wants to read Paige's books, and play with Paige's dolls and sleep in Paige's bed. She throws nightly fits when we tell her she can't. Paige could ask Taryn to crawl over broken glass, roll around in lemon juice and cluck like a chicken and Taryn wouldn't even cry when doing it. So different, in so many ways, and yearning to be the same...
I hope Paige understands, at least a little bit, her near infallibility in Taryn's eyes and decides to use her powers for good. It is amazing to witness.
I'd like to thank the late Kurt Cobain for lending his way with words for use as my title today...
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